The Questions Related to Moving in Together
Among the many experiences of a mature romantic relationship is moving in together. Considered by many to be the first and very important step towards a life-long commitment, it surely is a test for the depths of the bond between two people. Don't let the inevitable arguments and forced compromises spoil the beauty of the moment. Take a look at the potential questions related to moving in together below, and pay special attention to avoiding unreasonable conflicts
Question 1: Who goes where
Early on, one of the partners will have to decide to leave his or her own place to move in with the other, or if they will search for a new place together. Modern people have a very well developed feel for independence. That could be seen two ways. One, if one member of the couple is inviting the other to move in, it is a sign of trust, by letting someone else into their personal space. On the other hand, the latter might not like the atmosphere in the former's residence, so finding a new place might be more reasonable.
Question 2: Yours, mine or ours
What basically happens when a couple are moving in together is merging two separate households into one. What comes out at first glance are a lot of doubled items - two TV stands, two washing machines, two desks, two couches, two dining tables, and so on. What should be agreed between the partners is which style should prevail - urban minimalistic or country, ultra-modern or classic design, green or red, and so on. Of course, you can also just pick the better looking of each of the doubled items, and don't give the style too much though. Or you can sell everything and buy new ones together instead!
Question 3: A place for everyone and everything
A huge romance novel collection or an even bigger model car collection? A game room or a home office? There won't be enough space for absolutely everything one owns, if you are trying to fit two, two-room flats into one. If you can afford to find a place as big as both previous residences combined, this would solve the problem. But one other thing would come up either way - that is the sharing of personal space. Get used to this, or remember how to get used to it, if you have previous experience of living with a partner.
Question 4: Joint venture or separate finances
Money is always an issue, and no matter what you might say, it always will be. So sit down and discuss with your partner the financial side of living together. Personally, I rather prefer separate accounts for partners, plus a joint household account - the amounts for rent or the mortgage, utilities, food and other common costs should be found there. You are free to choose another option, but try to discuss this thoroughly.
Question 5: Who will sign
Which name should be on the rental or buying contact? And on the mortgage account, in the latter case, of course? The right answer is only one - both! No matter how you feel right know, as insurance against a worst-case scenario, the home should always belong permanently or temporarily to both of you. If something leads to a time when you separate, you both have a say in dealing with the place.
After you have discussed all the Questions, and you still love each other - congrats, good to go! You are ready to start making a life together.