Moving back in with Parents and how to cope
The worst has happened, finances are a mess, savings are gone and you’ve had to bite the bullet and move in with your Parents. Or, perhaps, you’re helping out your folks by moving back into the family home either for financial reasons or to help care for them. Whatever the reason, moving back with parents is a tricky time as roles are reversed, independence is lost and a new relationship is formed as you move back to your childhood room as fully fledged adult with your own job, money, ideals and way of living. Once the decision has been made, there comes the painful transition of packing up, saying goodbye to a life and a home, perhaps parting with a loved one, followed by moving and settling in to a familiar setting under very strange circumstances. Here are a few tips to help you to cope with such a dramatic change for you and your parents. Organise your spaceBoth in the old house and once you’re moved in. You’ve probably got more stuff than what will fit into your parent’s house, so if it is affordable, storage is a great option to accommodate extra items you don’t need but don’t want to get rid of. Once you’ve downsized, moving will be a much more manageable task, although you will know feel a lot less adult, with only immediate belongings at hand, and your life of accumulated items over your life gone if only temporarily. Once you’ve moved in, it’s important to remember to temporary nature of such a move, but nevertheless to organise your space accordingly, for example you room, bathroom and kitchen space. It’s important to feel at home, without overtaking you parent’s space, who will also feel the boundaries have somewhat changed. It might be best to treat it like a shared house arrangement for now, leaving your personal things in your bedroom, and allocating a cupboard or drawer to put kitchen and bathroom items. Although, of course, a few photos and ornaments to make yourself at home won’t hurt. Set the rulesNow you’re an adult, it’s just as important for you to set some rules as it is your parents, and for both parties to respect them. Hopefully, no one will be given a curfew, but it is useful to know everyone’s eating arrangements, for example. Perhaps you enjoy eating later than your parents, so you’ll have some kitchen space when you need it. Although, this is a chance to reconnect with your family during such a hard time, so don’t forget to share some valuable time with them, and meal times are the perfect opportunity. It’s also important to respect their home and space, you may feel like a teenager again, but it’s easy to let them know if you’ll be home late or not at all. As an adult, you can do what you want, but as parents, they’ll always worry. Most boring, but most important, is to organise chores, as you definitely don’t want to be nagged at your age over a few dishes. Don’t lose your independenceAlthough it’s important to spend time with your family, and you probably will enjoy the attention for a short time, it’s important not to lose sight of a temporary move or your independence. For example, chores and meals is usually where even the most independent adult can get stuck into being a grown up child. If you wish to cook for yourself, stick to your guns, or cook for your parents, if you know you’ll only feel smothered with your parents doing everything it’s best to set the record straight now rather than suffering and snapping in the future. Most importantly, maintain your contacts and social circle, getting out of such enclosed spaces can be a valuable release and feeling cooped up will only affirm feelings of failure, suffocation and an overall sense of being a child again. However, it’s important to remember to enjoy your care-free, responsibility free time, as it probably won’t happen again. Enjoy spending time with your family, especially as an adult as the relationship will be very different from before you moved out. Spend the evening with your Mum being pampered and drinking wine, or bond with your Dad over a new appreciation of sport or quiz shows. Not only will it help you to reconnect with your parents in a new light, they’ll probably be grateful for a bit of company and to have their child back if only for a while.